I was recently cleaning my necropsy kit and pondering an upcoming Minnesota fishing trip when suddenly I see this large fuzzy pink pig out of the corner of my eye. It was a squeezably-soft plush porkster that appeared out of nowhere. I immediately put down my empty Kentucky Bourbon glass and threw off the handcrafted quilt from Heidi Kaisand’s Hen and Chicks Studio and ran over to the desk to find my registration form for the 2013 Allen D. Leman Swine Conference. I knew I had to report this genetic anomaly to the producer and scientific community. A finding like this would be worth at least $100,000 and ensure my future.
Startled by the sudden appearance of this cuddly porker, I stumbled over two empty Bourbon Barrel Ale bottles someone carelessly left lying beside my pig leather footstool and hit my head on the ceramic piggy bank sitting by my bookcase. While lying in a heap on the floor, I noticed the four Green Bay Packers tickets that I’d been looking for had fallen behind the desk. After picking myself up, I placed the tickets on the desk beside my 1933 FMD Billboard poster and covered them both with the Wayne Tail Curler Junior paperweight pig.
Switching on the Tiffany lamp on the desk, I realize that my Darwin-like genetic discovery was nothing more than an oversized stuffed toy pig! Somewhat depressed that my discovery isn’t the next Dodo bird, I make my way back to my recliner, pour another bourbon and think to myself, “I need a vacation – maybe Hawaii”.
If you would like to experience any of the items portrayed in this somewhat stylized and nearly fictitious tale, please visit the AASV Foundation’s auction page and explore the myriad of fantastic items available for bid. The auction committee would also appreciate your donations. If you have an item you’d like to donate, please complete a donation form and send it in before December 1st.